Friday 28 June 2013

I Want To Be Popular


George Osborne is a British Conservative politician. He is the Chancellor of the Exchequer and Second Lord of the Treasury .... the guy who does the budget for the nation. An English toff with Irish roots as he is the heir to two estates there .... to be sure.

How does a man with a personal fortune of around £4 million make himself popular to the public? Future votes and possible Tory leadership depends on it. 

With no previous experience of economics he holds the purse strings of the UK, cutting welfare programs and spending yet giving the Queen a £5 million pay rise, he has a difficult position to make himself more appealing to the average Mirror or Daily Mail reader.

So what do you do?

You eat commoner food .... um don't you want some brown sass on that?

You drink cups of tea with the lads. Corr the office sure was hot today, the gravy was pouring off me as I was cutting the disability allowance.

 Read to some children, it worked well for George Bush.

Meet some war heroes, hope they don't mention the lack of help their families get from the government .... sooo boring.

Just by jogging you are saying that yer better than the rest of us you fucking cunt! We only wear tracksuits, we don't fucking run ..... unless the peelers are chasing us.  Tracksuits are also handy if yer fat, have no self respect and want easy access for a spot of rape.

Tweet a picture of you eating a burger and chips thats fucking common isn't it? Except it was a
£10 burger because as you stated "McDonald's doesn't deliver" Aye it's called the drive thru ya baw beg.
Ok I'll give you this one .... no wait, I don't see any ketchup. For fucks sake George you had one job to do, just like yon pasty you don't have any sasses with it. If you want to be like common people and what to do whatever common people do then use condom-mints like brown sass, red sass and vinegar .... also remember to heap the salt on.

Bollocks! they forgot my side order of caviar , this isn't fair.



Update: Osborne's comment "McDonald's doesn't deliver" was good, except that the gourmet restaurant Byron doesn't deliver either, does he know where his food even comes from?  I bet it's like Pinkdot in LA in which he uses a courier service and Osborne is just too out of touch to know this. 
 


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